If you’re a rat, and you got a mid-femural fracture, Dr. Zuckerman has an Rx for you: Pump yourself up with CBD. It’ll enhance the maturation of the collagenous matrix in your bones, and that’ll fix it.
Zuckerman knows this from an article about some Israeli wise guys that ran recently on worldtruth.tv. Wise in that they are researchers at Tel Aviv and Hebrew universities and therefore earned the distinction of having a scientific paper published in that racy periodical, The Journal of Bone and Mineral Research (USA).
The wise men were quoted: “CBD . . . markedly enhanced the healing process of the femora after just eight weeks,” sayeth one Dr. Yankel Gabet. And “after being treated with CBD, the healed bone will be harder to break in the future,” addeth he.
Today’s headline writers are not what they were in Zuckerman’s day, but they weighed in:
“Cannabis May Be Used to Treat Fractures” — Jewish Business News
“No Bones About It: Cannabis May Be Used to Treat Fractures” — Patients for Medical Cannabis
“Marijuana Can Help Heal a Broken Bone” — The New Indian Express
“Study says marijuana compound helps mend broken bones faster, stronger” — WKRC CBS affiliate, Cincinnati
“Marijuana Could Help Heal Broken Bones, New Study Finds” — The Fix
Just as rats were beginning to gather to celebrate this medical breakthrough in Tokyo, Rome, Paris and New York, along comes ramilbakhishli, who’s vexed by all this cracked mid-femural stuff over on vexedtherealnews.wordpress.com. We don’t know who ramilbakhishli is because, alas, there is no “about” section on vexedtherealnews.wordpress.com, leaving us vexed.
Anyway ramilbakhishli throws some rain on the rat parade by reminding us that rats aren’t people under the headline “Why the study linking cannabis to bone healing is likely overhyped” in which he passes along some contrarian wise-guy thought:
“Insofar as these studies go, it’s not the worst I’ve seen, but the numbers are, I would say, on the low side,” Jeffrey Nyman, PhD, of the Vanderbilt Center for Bone Biology said of the rodent groups studied, each of which had between five and 12 rats whose femurs were “methodically broken” by Gabet and his sadistic band of researchers.
Break more legs
“Whether it translates to humans is unclear,” said a skeptical Dr. Robert Glatter, director of emergency sports medicine at Lenox Hill Hospital in New York City. “It’s going to require much more work with multiple studies.”
If you’re not a rat — if you’re a real person — please know that Zuckerman is determined to move medical science forward, so contact him if you’d like to volunteer for his special human CBD bone-repair study. Just remember we’re going to need to methodically break one of your femurs.